Thursday, January 21, 2010

Amazing Grace

I hope I am not alone in this world when I say the first thing I do when I wake up is reach for my iPhone and check email, Facebook and my "Words with Friends" games. Actually, I know I am not alone because my two sisters do this... but does it go outside the family?

This morning was a little different because 1) I didn't have to jump out of bed, bundle myself up, walk the dog, shower and go to work. Nope. I called in sick. I knew the stone I was dealing with the day before was about to come out (I'll spare the details, but I just knew). I had no clue how painful it was going to be on its exit, but let's just say I didn't even notice. Yet, there it was in the toilet. Not what I pictured, but being the "medical professional" that I am, I am super curious so I fished it out (don't ask how) and took a picture for your viewing pleasure (no, not the penny.. that's for size comparison!). How the heck can something so small cause so much pain? If that pain had produced a baby then I would at least feel justified in my pain!

But I digress, being still too early in the morning on a day off to start the day, I crawled back into my bed (still a little crampy, what the!?) and turned to my iPhone for company. I remembered I had Pandora on it so I opened it up and clicked on my "Christian" station. Oh wow, did I need to hear what came out of that phone. Chris Tomlin's "Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone) started and I just closed my eyes and sang along.

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace

Even if you aren't a Christian, we can all identify with this song in some way. We all have our chains that seem to be holding us back or in the same place. We are a creature of habit. We will keep doing the same thing over and over again and expect different results. But for someone like me, I have someone who has broken my chains and yet I still sit here and don't follow Him as I should. I'm thinking I just am not sure exactly how to go about it.

This leads me to what I will be doing for the next three months, starting February 1st. My friend, the one who shares some of my food-related struggles, told me about this wellness challenge called "Better Me in 3." I read over it and I'm pretty darn excited. This challenge can almost be whatever you want it to be for you, and as a Christian I love how the focus isn't just on food (or telling me what to eat), but is also on bettering myself in other areas of my life. I mean, if I am going to take the focus off food in my life then I need somewhere else to focus. I think this challenge is going to do this for me...and with a money prize involved?! That's like the cream cheese frosting on the amazing carrot cake from Rick's Dessert Diner. Ok, now I just started a craving... see? That's how easy it is for me!

I know this challenge is going to be difficult. It is most likely going to be very painful at moments. Please don't roll your eyes, but a really bad analogy occured to me: this process is going to be much like the stupid kidney stone. The pain was short-lived but excruciating. My nurse in the E.R. was the best one I could have ever hoped for and was so supportive of me. She let me cry. She let me cry out "Oh my God!" She sympathized with me the whole way. I knew I would survive, but there were moments I wasn't sure I could handle what I was going through. See the connection? For a girl who knows all about short-term sacrifice for long-term goals in all other areas of my life, food has been the difficult area. Perhaps because I've made it a sacrifice in the past? Perhaps...


  1. I love and connect with that song too. Glad everything is ok with you. Get some rest and take it easy. Hugs xoxo

  2. Oh man. That sounds AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL. Glad you're doing okay. Funny how the right songs always find their way to you when you need them. :) Love it.


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